What if Jesus were me for a day?

A number of years ago, a catch phrase or slogan came out, "WWJD". It showed up on mugs, bracelets, T-shirts, posters, bumper stickers, you name it. It reminded people to pause and think about how Jesus would respond, re-act and behave in situations.
This past week of HelloMorning, week 7, we dug into 1 Peter 2:13-25. There are so many great teaching points in these verses, and so much challenge there. One of the verses that would cause me to stop, re-read and ponder was verse 15: "For God wants you to silence the ignorant ways of foolish people by the good things you do".
The Bible isn't beating around the bush here. Our conduct and deeds need to be exemplary. We need to stick-out in a crowd, we are set apart, we aren't to blend into a crowd. The Bible takes away any excuses in vs 21. Christ is our living example of how to live, behave and love. Our LIVING example, not just a guide book, or a list of rules. He came, walked the earth, faced tougher situations than I ever will, and it is recorded how He acted, re-acted, behaved, spoke.... I am called to follow this.

My Wednesday morning with the kids was brutal. My daughter had a 'crisis', her lunch wasn't what she wanted. By 7:15AM she threw her lunch in the green bin, yelled, screamed and cried that I am the worst mother in the world and she hates me. She also had to pummel her brother, and meanwhile the 3rd child was melting down because his socks were bothering him *again* (I need to get this kid different socks!). Oh, and I was in the shower for most of this, dripping wet. So, how did I respond? With yelling & screaming of course. I was in a hurry, V had to be dropped at school by 8am, which is the exact time I need to arrive at school for coaching.
Once everyone was where they needed to be that day, I was able to shake off the uglies from the morning. And I kept thinking, Jesus come back, come and be me for one day. Show me how to mother, parent, be a teacher, wife, coach, volunteer... I know you healed people, spoke to crowds, transformed lives, but Jesus, can you come and be me for one day? Show me how to be the perfect good mom who doesn't scream back when 3 kids are killing each other. Show me how to be the best french teacher, to classes of teen kids who hate french, whose parents think education is babysitting and teachers are lazy and greedy. Show me how to give of myself to others, but manage to leave something left over for my devoted husband, who is neglected as much as the cat. And Jesus, show me how to care for me, how to nurture myself because no one else does, and if I don't take that time, I am more apt for blow ups.
Dear Jesus, WWJD is a cute saying, but I am sort of wishing there was a bible written for me. I love that you healed, spoke to crowds, fed the hungry, but can you show me how to live my life?

Aha moment, HelloMornings week 3

It wasn't what I was supposed to be reflecting on that morning, but it was an aha moment. This week we were digging in to 1 Peter 1:3-12. I would slow down a bit when the scriptures talked about the trials that we would surely suffer. It tells us that trials are merely there to prove our faith is genuine, and to help us develop endurance.
My mom would at times remind me by quoting the scripture that precious gold must be put into the fire. It is refined but not consumed by the flames. (it's driving me nuts that I can't find the exact reference, I will keep working on that. Perhaps it is a line from a hymn and not scripture?)
So, this week, the thought of trials was in my head. I thought about listing my trials. Pen in hand, I couldn't think of one! How amazingly blessed I am to not be able to list trials. Now maybe I am naive, or dim-witted, or optimistic. Reality is, yes I have trials, but in comparison to others, I have it very easy. All the 'icks' in my life are temporary.
So, what's a girl to do, who doesn't think she has major trials?
The aha was this. Perhaps God hasn't given me huge trials to test me (yet). But maybe He is watching how I react to the mini-trials in my life?
I have no crises trial, but rather mini-trials.
I don't know ladies. Any thoughts? I obviously haven't been to Bible school and perhaps dim-witted is the best word in this blog so far ;)

Blessings at Sick Kids

The thing about Sick Kids hospital...
It is filled with recent memories and most of them are pretty good. There were about 2 days that were challenging and draining, and one night of silent, hot tears and desperate tweets asking for prayers. God kept sending assurances and I have said many times since our weeklong stay in June, God's fingerprints are everywhere at that hospital.

So many times in June, as well as this past Thursday, I prayed prayers of praise and thanksgiving as well as humble questions. Why is my daughter so lucky? Why are we so blessed? How do parents do this in other countries? How do parents do this, who live at the hosptial, whose children never leave.

When we stayed for our week, Victoria was the eldest in our tiny wing. She was the healthiest there by a long shot. Most of her neighbours were transplant patients. One of her neighbour's little body wasn't accepting his transplant well. The parents and family were beyond tears, they were angry, questioning, asking, pleading, tired. I am sure at night they had their hot, silent tears. Or maybe not. There is a limit to how long you can emotionally keep reacting. At some point, I imagine you go numb, go through motions and conversations like a zombie.

Another little friend next to her had been there for four months. We rarely saw mom. When we did she had 2 other children with her. This small child / young toddler, too sick to toddle, was left being cared for by nurses and volunteers. Nurses are too busy to hold babies. Volunteers aren't always around. It was tough to listen to cries and not be able/allowed to intervene. What awaits that child when they go home?

How many parents would gladly change spots with us, to only have a child with a GI disease? No chemo, no radiation, no surgeries (at least not yet), all body parts.... A healthy child is such a miracle. That is one of the great things about SK. It reminds me how richly blessed I am.

My gorgeous girl had her scheduled MRI on Thursday night. She is such a trooper, it is astounding. We made it to the hospital with almost no traffic and we were able to snag a great parking spot. Everything went so smoothly, we arrived an hour ahead of schedule. The MRIs were running on time (blessing!). The barium she had to drink went down no problem and this was a huge relief, because when she had to prep for her scopes, the fluids she had to drink were a ....hassle. The doc was kind & funny and handled V well. There was one point that was pretty upsetting to her and he calmed her down quickly. Honestly, I sat with her the whole time and I was imagining myself in her shoes, at 9! It would be a challenge at this point in my life, and here she was, 9.... This girl amazes me. We finished by 9pm, hit the Starbucks in the lobby for a treat for her and some caffeine for my drive home. She was a great navigator, as my GPS was trying to send me some bizarre way. She was a bit emotional when we arrived home, just from being so tired. She was able to go to bed quickly and the next day was fine. (I was pretty beat, not from being up a bit later but the darn drive kicks my butt everytime).
So, with the MRI done, she got her wish. Saturday we went to get her ears pierced. You can't imagine a happier girl :)

kick crohns to the curb

So this is me and my girl V. This is one of my favorite pictures, in the whole world. No make-up, no fancy clothes or poses, just me and my girl, sweaty and happy. I couldn't have been more proud of her. It was just 2km, but to her it was like running a marathon. Two months before this photo was taken, she and I spent a week at Sick Kids hospital. She had numerous tests, many of them unpleasant, and we waited (and waited, and waited...) for a diagnosis. It was Crohns, which is what the medical team suspected. It isn't the best, but it is far from terrible. We can do this. I know she will have ups and downs. {She doesn't realize it yet}. But for this girl who couldn't do more than go to school then come home to sit or sleep, running 2km straight was a huge accomplishment. I am proud of her for this, and for so many other things. I don't want to forget how blessed I am.

Hello Mornings, 2 weeks in

What a great challenge Hello Mornings is!

Just being 2 weeks in, I am happy and blessed by what a difference waking up before my some of my family is. Thankfully my son who often wakes up within moments of my feet hitting the floor, is quite content to sit and wait for me to finish my quiet time. (TV can be a good thing). After my quiet time reading the scripture, writing a few words or verses that speak to me, I ponder a bit about what I have read and spend some time in prayer. Then I get right into the exercise. I think this has been huge for me. As I mentioned in a previous post, I have gone through a brief season (Lent)of waking up early to spend time with God, but adding this exercise component has been great. I am finding I feel stronger and fitter (even though I am not physically different yet, I know it will follow). Getting the exercise done first thing has even motivated me a few times to get a second session of activity in later on in the day. I am not talking about huge sweat sessions, but a walk or jog with my kids after dinner, or playing at the playground instead of sitting.

Knowing I have to check in with my group keeps me accountable and motivates me to make sure I do these things.

I am really surprised with the level of honesty and vulnerability the group has shared with one another. Perhaps it's easier to be vulnerable because (I think) few of us know one another in real life. And let me tell ya, the bible knowledge and deep faith these women have, holy smokes! Truly awesome to get to know these women of faith.

Hello Mornings, just two weeks in = what a blessing. Thanks be to God. (and my good friend who put out the simple Facebook invite).

My many Coffee dates

There are so many reasons why I love coffee dates with friends. The great thing about a coffee date is that it can happen at any location.

At your home, with kids and moms around, it usually entails warming up the morning brew, yoga pants on, ponytails high, and kids jumping on the basement couch.

Oh, but coffee can also be hip and trendy, at a cute downtown shop, where you wear your boots, bring your decent purse, and re-apply lipstick. And coffee there isn't homebrew, it is fair-trade, organic, freshly brewed, and has a fancy name with a posh price.

And being Canadian, meeting a friend at Tim Horton's, (or Tim's, or Timmy's as it is affectionately referred to) falls somewhere in the middle. You can rush there to catch up with a friend after work. Meeting for a playdate at the park usually involves the special brown papercup and a small box of Tim Bits.

I have met friends for coffee for years, decades in fact. It is my favorite thing to do. It can be 30 minutes to several hours, and there is nothing more comforting than the location, the warmth of the refreshment and the rejuvenation it brings to me, physically and emotionally.

What's your favorite place to grab a coffee?
Who is your favorite coffee date?

Missing mom

No matter our age, I think we all need mom. My mom has been gone for a decade, which for me at this stage, that is pretty much a lifetime. In a decade, I have had three children, a new home, and a new career. I can barely remember my life before kids, so to think that my mother has been gone longer than that, well is sucks the air out of me.

I am not going to write a post about how wonderful she was and how idyllic my life would be if she were here. She was wonderful and life would be better.... but since you didn't know my mom, you would probably imagine I was being romantic in my memories.

The tough part, is that she was an exceptional mom and woman, and, I am nothing like her. That is not to say I am not a good mom and good woman. We all have our positive traits, and I have a few if I must admit ;) BUT, I am nothing like her. While she was patient, kind, caring, and well spoken, I tend to be less patient, slightly outspoken, bold and at times abrasive. I would LOVE to be more like her, but I am wired differently and it takes such effort and prayer to watch my tongue.

Among a thousand reasons, I miss her because I'd love advice with childrearing, her assurances of what I am doing, her bond with my kids and the occasional free babysitting. (it would make me more balanced, so I am not being totally selfish, right?)

We coerced my dad to come to the family cottage last weekend, which is very difficult for him. He stared going to the cottage when he and my mom were dating, at the age of 17. They dated during highshcool, remained a couple for the start of university and were married at 22. They had 41 years together, and that many summers at the cottage. To say the cottage is filled with memories and touches of my mom is an understatement. On the porch, I sat watching the kids and my dad. They just want to hang out with him, do whatever he was doing, talk and play. He wanted to cross things off his to-do list. My dad has a different relationship with the kids. My mom would have been present, interested and loving. My dad, well, he is good for 30 minutes or so, then he isn't really sure what to do. When he and his wife have the kids for a sleepover (about twice a year) the weekend is filled to the brim with activities. I think it keeps the pressure to a minimum, if the kids are entertained, less time and energy need to be spent on building a relationship. ouch. that hurts to say about my dad, but I think it's the truth.

I can't have my mom, but I do have great memories of her and she is a part of me. She was the best example, and if I could be half as good as she was, my kids will be blessed.