No matter our age, I think we all need mom. My mom has been gone for a decade, which for me at this stage, that is pretty much a lifetime. In a decade, I have had three children, a new home, and a new career. I can barely remember my life before kids, so to think that my mother has been gone longer than that, well is sucks the air out of me.
I am not going to write a post about how wonderful she was and how idyllic my life would be if she were here. She was wonderful and life would be better.... but since you didn't know my mom, you would probably imagine I was being romantic in my memories.
The tough part, is that she was an exceptional mom and woman, and, I am nothing like her. That is not to say I am not a good mom and good woman. We all have our positive traits, and I have a few if I must admit ;) BUT, I am nothing like her. While she was patient, kind, caring, and well spoken, I tend to be less patient, slightly outspoken, bold and at times abrasive. I would LOVE to be more like her, but I am wired differently and it takes such effort and prayer to watch my tongue.
Among a thousand reasons, I miss her because I'd love advice with childrearing, her assurances of what I am doing, her bond with my kids and the occasional free babysitting. (it would make me more balanced, so I am not being totally selfish, right?)
We coerced my dad to come to the family cottage last weekend, which is very difficult for him. He stared going to the cottage when he and my mom were dating, at the age of 17. They dated during highshcool, remained a couple for the start of university and were married at 22. They had 41 years together, and that many summers at the cottage. To say the cottage is filled with memories and touches of my mom is an understatement. On the porch, I sat watching the kids and my dad. They just want to hang out with him, do whatever he was doing, talk and play. He wanted to cross things off his to-do list. My dad has a different relationship with the kids. My mom would have been present, interested and loving. My dad, well, he is good for 30 minutes or so, then he isn't really sure what to do. When he and his wife have the kids for a sleepover (about twice a year) the weekend is filled to the brim with activities. I think it keeps the pressure to a minimum, if the kids are entertained, less time and energy need to be spent on building a relationship. ouch. that hurts to say about my dad, but I think it's the truth.
I can't have my mom, but I do have great memories of her and she is a part of me. She was the best example, and if I could be half as good as she was, my kids will be blessed.
Diane, I can't imagine, although I have thought (and you confirm) that the absence of one's mom can speak as loudly as her presence. Your mom obviously left a wonderful legacy, with lots of good parts (or "positive traits," if you must admit). I know you to be a woman of conscience and passion... and that's the kind of woman who is hardly ever patient and and wonderfully outspoken.
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