What if Jesus were me for a day?

A number of years ago, a catch phrase or slogan came out, "WWJD". It showed up on mugs, bracelets, T-shirts, posters, bumper stickers, you name it. It reminded people to pause and think about how Jesus would respond, re-act and behave in situations.
This past week of HelloMorning, week 7, we dug into 1 Peter 2:13-25. There are so many great teaching points in these verses, and so much challenge there. One of the verses that would cause me to stop, re-read and ponder was verse 15: "For God wants you to silence the ignorant ways of foolish people by the good things you do".
The Bible isn't beating around the bush here. Our conduct and deeds need to be exemplary. We need to stick-out in a crowd, we are set apart, we aren't to blend into a crowd. The Bible takes away any excuses in vs 21. Christ is our living example of how to live, behave and love. Our LIVING example, not just a guide book, or a list of rules. He came, walked the earth, faced tougher situations than I ever will, and it is recorded how He acted, re-acted, behaved, spoke.... I am called to follow this.

My Wednesday morning with the kids was brutal. My daughter had a 'crisis', her lunch wasn't what she wanted. By 7:15AM she threw her lunch in the green bin, yelled, screamed and cried that I am the worst mother in the world and she hates me. She also had to pummel her brother, and meanwhile the 3rd child was melting down because his socks were bothering him *again* (I need to get this kid different socks!). Oh, and I was in the shower for most of this, dripping wet. So, how did I respond? With yelling & screaming of course. I was in a hurry, V had to be dropped at school by 8am, which is the exact time I need to arrive at school for coaching.
Once everyone was where they needed to be that day, I was able to shake off the uglies from the morning. And I kept thinking, Jesus come back, come and be me for one day. Show me how to mother, parent, be a teacher, wife, coach, volunteer... I know you healed people, spoke to crowds, transformed lives, but Jesus, can you come and be me for one day? Show me how to be the perfect good mom who doesn't scream back when 3 kids are killing each other. Show me how to be the best french teacher, to classes of teen kids who hate french, whose parents think education is babysitting and teachers are lazy and greedy. Show me how to give of myself to others, but manage to leave something left over for my devoted husband, who is neglected as much as the cat. And Jesus, show me how to care for me, how to nurture myself because no one else does, and if I don't take that time, I am more apt for blow ups.
Dear Jesus, WWJD is a cute saying, but I am sort of wishing there was a bible written for me. I love that you healed, spoke to crowds, fed the hungry, but can you show me how to live my life?

Failing

Today has been exceptionally rough.
I won't go into detail, because the details never seem to matter much in the long run. It could be any day really, but some days hit me harder than others.
I brought my three to the beach this afternoon, and we had a friend of my daughters come as well. I set up the beach chair and angled it so I could watch the four play. I needed these few minutes of relative calm while the kids played. I let my head rest on the back of the chair, my face angled to the sky and poured my heart out to God. I wish I could say this was the first time I had prayed this type of prayer but the truth is God has heard my cries many times. I want to know how I can be so terrible at parenting. How could I get so much wrong, so often? Why did God give me such a challenging son? There are times I want to pretend he isn't mine, to turn my back on the playground and pretend I don't know who the mother is. I don't want to have to get up again, to intervene, apologize, explain, conjole, or fix another misunderstanding between kids. At times I wish I had a diagnosis for him. How sick and twisted is that? That a mother would WISH something was officially wrong with her son? It would ease the pain and embarrassement and the reality that there isn't anything wrong with him, but rather it is maybe me. Maybe I am just not a good parent. I can't keep the tears from falling. Failing as a mother I cry to God. Please hold me, whisper in my ear, tell me this will pass and that You will carry me through and give me strength.