My last post was so honest, it was tough to share it with anyone. It isn't my personality to be so vulnerable and open, I tend to keep most people at arms length (which is a whole other post). I am not sure why I decided to publish it, other than I think too many of us walk around wearing masks and only reveal small slivers of who we really are. What if we were all honest and vulnerable? Would we treat one another with greater care and be kinder? Exposing our weaknesses takes courage and strength. To admit you can't do it all alone and you need love and support - why is that so hard to do? I myself don't usually go to other people for that support, but I do rely on God. The other day I know He heard my anguish and fatigue and despair. God doesn't always answer our prayers in a big way (like sending me a nanny, or child shrink, or a bottle of white, or a double-double....) but I do believe God works in my life everyday, answering in His way, in His time. He did send me little blessings of respite. Here are some of the little ways:
- After the beach the kids were calmer and quieter.
- I was able to get to a pilates class. Having the hour away and doing something positive for my body was a mood-booster.
- My husband cleaned the kitchen so I didn't have to face the dishes after pilates
- The following day I had a call from a friend. Just chatting for a few minutes was a nice start to the day.
- The kids were at a half day camp, so having 3 hours to myself helped a lot. I read a few blogs, I went for a walk (it was supposed to be a run, but I won't beat myself up over that), I did groceries and bought a birthday gift for our niece. Not a big list of accomplishments, but they go so much quicker and calmer when I can do it solo.
- A good friend came over that afternoon with her two boys and we let the kids loose and we chatted. I was still feeling the drain from the day before, but good friends roll with it :)
- I had a few messages from 2 friends who were full of support.
Am I the only one who struggles with keeping the mask off? Do you show your weaknesses?
Absolutely Diane! We all struggle to keep the mask off, guaranteed. Maybe we don't feel that way in the good times, but when a rough patch hits, we often hibernate if we can't find it in ourselves to paint a smile on our face. God bless you for being so honest - not couched in humour, no thought-terminating cliches, just honest. Your vulnerability is a relief to those of us who have not yet found a way to do that. Thanks for being REAL!
ReplyDeleteThank you, it is something I am working on for sure! It is much easier to hide my true emotions & struggles.
DeleteLove that we are sharing this journey. It's exhausting trying to look like you've got it all together.
ReplyDeleteyes, exhausting and I don't think helpful. I think if women were more honest with their struggles, we would feel less pressure & anxiety.
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